The Adventures of Saffy and Ame
by AmethystNevermorexSaffyRaine
Summary: Just a bunch of stories told by Hades to Amethyst and Sapphire Let me know if I should continue


**DISCLAIMER: ****I DON'T OWN HERCULES OR THE CHARACTERS THEY BELONG TO DISNEY!  
**

**BUT AME SAFFY PERIDOT AND TOPAZ I DO OWN **

***THIS IS MY 1ST FAN FICTION ENJOY AND LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD CONTINUE  
**

**+Nyxie+**

**Origin of Ares and the Story of Meg:**

Ame: So how exactly did you get Hera I thought she was married to Zeus and You we're to Persephone...

Saffy: speaking of which were is Cousin Sephy?

Hades: *growls* Well after awhile she left because of the whole agreement and Demeter got the marriage annulled and now she married to *makes gagging noise* Apollo Mr. Sunshine himself! *sighs* As for the whole Hera thing you see she always came to me for comfort when Zeus would go off on his little sex-escapades and what can I say we fell in love cause we both knew how it felt to be betrayed by the one you love... *smirks* So one thing lead to another and the affair began...She became pregnant with Ares about the same time Metis became pregnant with Athena so Zeus always thought Ares was his *smiles* Boy how wrong he was when that kid grew up he took after me with my anger and Zeus eventually found out Ares wasn't his but mine... *laughs* Oh Gods you should've seen the look on BOLT-BOY'S face fucking priceless!

Ame: Whoa! *laughs* God Hades that's a really sweet story. *batting eyes*

Saffy: Oh for the love of Venus! Can't you stop hitting on every guy you come across you acting like a trollop!

Ame: I can't help it you know my favorite color is blue and I love to play with fire *purrs*

Hades: *in shock and thinking* This is your granddaughter For Gaia's sake! But she so... ERR! *gulps* Oy!

Saffy: *smiles smugly* But I thought your favorite color was GREEN?

Ame: Mmm no definitely blue.

Saffy: I believe you said it was green yester- MHPH!  
Ame: *chuckles*

Hades: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Green? Peridot the son of Artemis and Apollo? That Yutz?!

Saffy: *licks Ame's hands* Ame: EWW!

Saffy: That's the one!

Ame: *glares at Saffy*

Saffy: Oh chill your fucking tits it's not gonna happen he's too old for you! Besides you have Peri!

Ame: I'm 23 EONS I am not a child and Peri has Iris!  
Hades: Ah sorry babe it's gotta be tough competing against the Rainbow goddess herself...

Ame: Nah I think I enjoy blue better Hades: *flirtingly* Really?

Saffy: *rolls eyes* Oh brother yet another one trapped by the claws of Amethyst *laughs and shakes head*

Ame: Hey I'm not that bad!

Saffy: Please you could give Eros a run for his money!

Ame: And you could give Nemesis a run for hers!

Saffy: Damn straight!

Hades: Ah and there's the Athena side! *laughs*

Ame: So Hades...  
Hades: Yes?

Saffy: Tell us about Megara. *smiles smugly*

Hades: Meg?...Hmm Meg? Meg? Meg?...Ah you me little Nutmeg? *smirks*

Ame: Yeah Her!

Saffy: Spill!

Hades: Alright! Alright, Jeez Louise you two are definitely the daughters of Ares so impatient Oy! Anyways it all began when Meg was 17 she was dating that Yutz Adonis...

Ame: Oh Gods that egotistical pretty boy prince who is dating Helen!?

Hades: Bingo! Anyways so Adonis gets ill and is on his deathbed so little Nutmeg saunters into my domain begging me to spare his life and she'll do anything to which we made a deal and I got her soul...

Saffy: But how is she with Hercules?

Ame: And How did Adonis get with Helen?

Hades: Maybe if you two would stop interrupting me I can finish the story! *turning red*

Saffy: Alright relax Blue-Boy!

Ame: *imitates Meg* Continue Oh One-ness!

Ame and Saffy: *laugh*

Hades: *growls* Yutzes... Anyway so where was I?

Ame: She sold you her soul...

Hades: Ah Yes anyways so she sold me her soul and Adonis was healed but one day while strolling around town a beautiful girl walks past and Adonis follows her like a lost puppy leaving Meg broken... *shakes head* Asshole! *turns red*

Ame: That Jerk!

Saffy: Poor Meg!

Hades: Oh the kicker was it was Aphrodite.

Ame: Jeez she gets around!

Hades: She's not called the Goddess of Love and Pleasure for anything *starts to smile and zone out*  
Ame: Hades! Focus!

Saffy: Gaia to Flame Head! You're telling us a story remember!?

Hades: *snaps outta daze* Oh right right anyways...So I found her broken and was there to collect her as agreed. She became my Hench-woman doing my bidding persuading and seducing monsters to join my team for the uprising...the end.

Ame: Whoa Mister that's not all!

Saffy: There's definitely more I can see it in your eyes!

Hades: *groans* Fine! Anyways so people may think we hated each other that she was just my slave...Ha ha oh gods if only Hercules really knew what went on down in that Underworld...He thinks she's innocent...Feh the little minx *smiles*

Ame: I saw that coming!

Saffy: Hah yeah right who do you think you are Cassandra of Troy? *laughs* You were as surprised as I was!

Hades: Anyways so it started out with her being so frustrating with her wit and sharp tongue we fought constantly never seen eye to eye. Then one day I just lost it and ended up slamming her into one of the pillars and pinning her...

Saffy: This is getting good!  
Ame: Pass me the Ambrosia and Pita Puffs.

Hades: And I ended up yelling and cursing at this woman who constantly aggravated and tormented me...We were so close... Then it was just happening we were kissing and I don't mean a little smooze I'm talking full on passionate tongues battling for dominance kiss babes!...The next thing I know is the figurines are being tossed to the floor and Meg's being slammed onto the chess board and we start to tear at each others' clothes like a bunch of rapid animals...

Ame: *zoning out*

Saffy: *slaps Ame*

Ame: OW! Saffy: Okay! okay we understand anyways how about we start when she meets Nesseus.

Hades: *trying to calm down* Okay I'm fine...Okay I sent Meg to go out to persuade the river guardian because his weakness was beautiful women so Ba Da Bing Meg fit the bill..Anyways so Meg tries to persuade the guy but he was just too handsy *rolls eyes* he wanted more than just to join my team he wanted to screw Nutmeg *shrugs* I don't blame him that attitude is a turn on... *shakes head* Anyways so she tries getting away but he grabs her and tries kissing her I'm by the way watching the whole thing on T.V. (Tartarus Vision) and I'm about to go to teach that Schmuck a lesson but guess who shows up just at that moment...

Ame and Saffy: Hercules?

Hades: That's right babes...Jerkules! *turning red* He saves Meg and knock Nesseus out cold and that's how Nutmeg met Jerkules...

Ame: Hmm how did they get together?

Saffy: Are they still together?

Hades: It seems that it's my fault they got together I kept pushing her into him to find his weakness which became her so he gave over his powers to keep her safe and I took over the Cosmos for a little, but Meg had to go all noble and saved Jerkules' life from a crushing pillar which crushed her instead, Jerkules defeated me but I took Meg...I was angry and she was suffering in pain so seemed the proper thing to do...

Ame: You know what you're a big softy!

Hades: *growls* I am not...I'm just not as heartless as people say anyways Jerkules came down here demanding her soul in exchange for his but Bolt-Boy turned him into a god *turning red* So I got thrown into that DAMN RIVER STYX! And they went off to live happily ever after... For about 7 years...*smirks*

Ame: Oh no not another Adonis!

Hades: No worse see Hera was jealous to find out that Jerkules wasn't her son you remember his foster mother Alceme... well turns out she was his real mother but Zeus dipped her into the Lethe to forget and took Herc to Olympus then hypnotized Hera to think he was her's...Anyway so she was very vengeful so she puts a curse on Hercules and he loses his mind and ends up killing his 3 kids and Meg *shakes head* Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... So now she's in the Elysian Fields with no recollecting about what happened...

Ame: Whoa!

Saffy: Grandma's vicious!

Hades: Oh you have no idea babes no freaking idea how vicious she can be *scowls*

Ame: Hey hey cheer up Blueboy you still have us *smiles*

Saffy: Oh no no no I have Topaz!

Ame: I meant like family you PERV!

Saffy: Oh...

Ame: Then again...

Saffy: *smacks Ame* Would you stop?!

Ame: *holds arm* Ow! Okay okay I'll stop! So Hades how did you get here?

Hades: I was trick by my own flesh and inchor! *bursts into flames*  
Ame: Alright alright! Chill Hot stuff!  
Saffy: So Hades *smirking* Tell us about Menthe.

Hades: *pauses* Excuse me?

Ame x Saffy: MENTHE!

Hades: *groans* Obsession gone haywire...Short she kissed me and Sephy turned her into ashes but felt so bad so she turned her into a mint plant after.

Ame: Gods the jealous woman in our family are crazy!

Saffy: I'll say they are *whistles*

Hades: Hah you should see the men...Like Ares your father for example! *smirks*

Ame and Saffy: HUH?!

**Revenge of Ares**:

Ame: *grabbing onto Hades' chiton and shaking him* Tell us!

Hades: *chuckles* Alright Ame babe...

Saffy: Wait wait wait! *grabs snacks* Okay start!

Hades: Well as I said your father Ares is just as bad as the women when jealous member that Schmuck Adonis?

Ame x Saffy: *nods*

Hades: Well see this was when him and Aphrodite were lovers oh totally different story but she's married to Hephaestus and he was pissed about the affair and one day caught them in a net and put them on display for all to see in their most intimate embrace! *laughs* Gods their faces were so red I thought they'd bursts into flames from embarrassment! *bursting into laughter* My son wouldn't come out of hiding for YEARS! HA! HA!

Ame: *giggles* That's so humiliating...

Saffy: Serves em right!

Hades: Okay *wipes tear away from eye* Okay back to the story anyways so they continue the affair til she meets Adonis and she falls head over heels for him which pisses Ares off so he kills the Yutz to win back Aphrodite's affections...Boy was he wrong she shunned him and came knocking on my doorstep demanding me to give what was her's back I decided what the hey and brought him to life and he later became the life-death-rebirth deity...

Ame: Hold the fuck up that Egotistical Asshole became a divine force!?

Hades: Yup thanks to Zeus...

Saffy: Ugh and here I thought he'd be dead!

Hades: Oh he is-

Megara: Adonis get the hell away from me you left me for Venus!

Adonis: But Schmoopsie Kins I love you!

Megara: Fuck off Adonis I mean it!  
Adonis: *grabs meg* Come on Sweetie you know you miss me-

_***SMACK***_

Hades: *cringes* Ouch! And down goes Adonis! *laughs* Excuse me babes...

Ame: Feh serves him right! Saffy: Atta girl Meg show that ASSHOLE!

Hades: Adonis leave Nutmeg alone OR I SWEAR ON STYX I'LL THROW YOU INTO TARTARUS! *bursts into flames*  
Adonis: *runs away screaming*

Megara: What are you doing here!

Hades: Me? Hah well babe you are in my domain!

Megara: Oh right *shrugs* Thanks Blue-boy. *smiles and walks away*

Hades: You're welcome my little Nutmeg. *turns to Saffy and Ame* Anyways...

Ame: *whistles*

Saffy: Meg sure hasn't lost her tough girl appeal or her wit even in death.

Hades: Nope still sharp as ever *laughs* Anyways so that's not the only tale of your father's bitter rage did I tell you he tried to kill the leader of the Achaeans but Athena intervened and Ares got injured. So you know him as soon as he's better he was out to get revenge *laughs* like his mother...so the 1st chance he gets he tries to attack your mother with his spear and **BAM** she knocks him cold with a boulder! *laughs*

Ame: *laughs* Go mom!

Saffy: that's why you gotta think and plan before you act!

Hades: *groans* Amen Saffy babe. Amen


End file.
